Ramblings about Gabriel

In some domestic adoptions you get chosen by a birthmom in her 7th or 8th month of pregnancy and you know a couple months ahead of time when your child's due date is. But in talking with our contact at our adoption agency, we know that the norm for our program is that they will allow the 10-day window that the birthmom has to rescind her decision to pass before they call us.

What this means? We will wake up one morning, everything normal, Jas will head off to work...and by that evening we will have a precious newborn living in our house. Just. like. that.

And for this planner/organizer/scheduler? That is - in a word: hard.

I've heard multiple stories of parents heading to pick up their new treasure - while their friends head to Wally World to pick up much-needed supplies. I SO do not want to have to do that. I don't want chaos and craziness. I've had multiple friends volunteer to make that Wally World trip for us...but let me say it again: I SO do not want to have to do that.

I want to be ready. Calm. And ready.

I've been trying to get us ready along and along.

I bought diapers a couple weeks ago.

And I bought some formula too. (Yes, I intend to give breast-feeding everything I've got...but I now know it will take 3 days for my milk to come in.)

And wipes.

And I've started to put some supplies in our diaper bag.

And I got all the Newborn size clothes out and ready.

And I'm seriously contemplating having Jas go ahead and put Gabriel's carseat in the van...because I do NOT want us wrestling with a carseat while we're supposed to be on the road to go pick him up!

Remember all my oh-so-eloquent professions of how peaceful I have been about being patient in waiting for Gabriel? (Like here.)

Well, disregard that...it's all flown out the window now.

I'm anxious and on-edge when I think about it. I get butterflies in my stomach. My dear friend Amy says that is the Lord giving me discernment and getting me ready. Oh how I pray you're right, Amy!

All I know is: The Lord certainly knew what He was doing when He had us go through an adoption process like this for our 5th adoption...instead of our first or second. I just really don't think I could have handled this earlier, if this is the way I feel and it's our fifth!

I mentioned in this post that I've felt for months now that he would be coming home in November or December. (In family discussions about it, we've all decided that December 9th would be perfect - thankyouverymuch) I struggled with whether to even say all this out loud or on the blog at all. What if it turns out not to be true? What if it takes much longer? But, ultimately (obviously) I felt that I should tell it. Ultimately, I do absolutely totally and completely trust the Lord's timing in bringing Gabriel into our family.

But I'm anxious now...and not handling as well as I'd like. Just being honest.

We covet your prayers for our Gabriel and the Lord's perfect timing in bringing him into our family.