The Breastfeeding Chronicles: Whine Fest

The first post about adoptive breastfeeding can be found here, and the second one here.

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I've now been on the protocol to induce lactation for over 11 weeks.

It turns out I lied when I said here that I can't really tell a difference. I've been trying to deny it, but there are some unpleasant side-effects.

The only thing good I have to say about this at this point is that it is working...the medicine is accomplishing what it is supposed to accomplish at this point.

Now, for the whining.

I have gained weight.

And not just a little. Like 10 pounds.

My friends are shocked when I tell them. They say (and I believe they're telling the truth) that they can't tell. But my clothes definitely CAN tell. And so I weighed myself. Yep, 10 pounds. Gotta love that. I do not need to be buying all new pants and jeans.

The same med that has caused the weight gain, also causes my moods to be wonky. I've been more short tempered - just ask my family.

I'm hungry all the time. I can have a right-before-bedtime-snack at 9:30 at night. And when I get up at 5 a.m., I'm hungry. Stomach-rumbling-around-and-growling hungry. No surprise I've put on weight.

My face is breaking out unlike it has in years. Love that.

The other medicine is making my stomach feel funny. At least I believe it is the other medicine causing this. It feels sour. Some days it actually burns and hurts...but most of the time it is just a mild sour feeling.

AND, even though I'm usually very transparent on my blog (sometimes too transparent)...there are several other symptoms that would seriously just be TMI to share. Trust me...they're lots of fun. not.

Thankfully, the med that is causing the most grievous symptoms I will take for a shorter amount of time...should be several more months, at the very most. The other med - which seems to be causing less problems - I may be able to wean off once I start actually breastfeeding...but may have to take the entire time I breastfeed. (And seriously, if we get this breastfeeding thing to work after all this, I plan to breastfeed for a l o n g time!)

When it was time to order a refill on the most problematic medicine a few days ago...I just broke down and cried and complained to Jas. I'm tired of this. I do not like all these unpleasant side-effects.

Jas listened (he's develped great listening skills over 15 years of marriage)...and then helped me talk through it.

Option 1: Quit. Just give up the idea of adoptive breastfeeding. But this actually simply isn't an option, so we moved on to...

Option 2: Quit that one medicine. But then I would need to start pumping right away. And I would need to pump every three hours...until we bring Gabriel home. Ummm, no thank you.

So, we're going with Option 3: Keep on keeping on.

I need to just suck it up. It's just for 3 or maybe 4 more months at the most. (Even if we don't have Gabriel by then, I will really need to stop that med and start pumping.) It is NOT the worst thing in the world, I certainly know that.

But it certainly felt better to cry and whine a bit.